SOAD hijacking a plane - the most stupid thing I've ever written

Okay, sometimes it's happening that you have a serious conversation and in the end you get a really stupid idea. At least that happens sometimes to me.
So, I was in a discussion at the soadfans.com forum about racism. The inventer of the certain topic told us, that her mum thinks, all lebanese would hijack planes. That made me laugh, because Serj Tankian of System of a Down is lebanese (or was, I don't know, if he gave away his citizenship) and I wrote that I would like to see Serj hijacking a plane. Idea comes to idea and I wrote down, what Serj would say, if he would do.
Because this isn't stupid enough I invented with Lady_Dolmayan_90 what the other guys would say. I made up John and Serj and she Daron and Shavo. So, I don't quote it directly, because it was written in a messenger and needed some work.
Also, this isn't meant to be serious! Hijacking planes, Shooting people and Hurting people is against the law, not tolerated in any nation and does not belong to the things I like. I just post it, to make you laugh. I doubt, that any member of System of a Down would ever do this.

What the members of System of a Down would say, if they would hijack a plane:

Serj:
*coughs*Ladies and Gentlemen, I now hijacked this plane. Please stay in your seats, while I shoot the pilots. I will led this plane into the empire state building. Because we are all dying in 10 minutes, feel free to use the time to say goodbye to your relatives and change your last will if needed. Thank you for your attention and have a good time.
The guy wouldn't even need a gun^^

John:
*goes to the first row, gun raised* Okay guys, I take the control now! You can't say no! *he shots the nearest hostess* You see what will happen, if you move. And now start praying and die in the name of ... (whatever John would have for a reason)*John goes to the cockpit*

Shavo:
*ignites a cigarette while going to the front, then facing the passengers, gun next to him* Well, ok, we're all going to die..you can smoke your last cigarette, or take out your bongs...*he points his gun randomly at someone* Hey, you! Gimme yours!

Daron:
*jumps on the food-car and drives on it through the rows shooting holes in the plane's walls*Hey maggots! You gonna die soon! Pray to your god and be ready to die! Muhahahaha!

Hope that made you laugh.